My Only Hope

Suddenly, I stood before the Lord; my eternity hanging on the judgment of the creator of the universe.  A million thoughts and questions bombarded my mind.  My entire life began to be vividly displayed before me, as if watching a movie, but with every moment viewable at one time.  The Lord began to speak, “Mitch, my son, choose two days from your life: one day that best represents why you feel most worthy to enter the Kingdom of Heaven, and one day that represents why you feel most unworthy to enter it.”

Being able to see each day perfectly and at the same time, I quickly chose each one.  “Lord, my most unworthy moment happened the night that I actually met you.  I was such a mess back then.  I spent that morning on the internet looking at pornography and placing bets for the upcoming football games.  Later, I manipulated a few numbers at work so that I would get a larger commission on my paycheck.  That evening, I got drunk with the guys and ended up sleeping with our waitress.  I knew that I had hit rock-bottom and I was desperate.  That’s when I gave up and asked you to save me.  Yea, that was probably the most unworthy of You and Your Kingdom I have ever felt.

The Lord then said, “Tell me of the day you felt the most worthy of Me and My Kingdom.”  “Well, I began, that would be last Saturday.  I woke up early and read my Bible for a bit and then went to visit a friend of mine at the hospital.  In the afternoon, I called a friend who had been struggling with his marriage and prayed for him and his wife.  Before bed I read a little from a book about being a strong Christian man, and even prayed with my wife before we went to sleep.  And I can’t remember having even one evil thought all day.  I wish all my days were like that one, because I felt pretty worthy of you that day.”

Then the Lord gave me one more instruction, “Choose which day you would like me to consider when casting my final judgment on you.  Your answer will decide your eternal destination.”  “Oh Lord,” I said quickly, “I choose last Saturday!  As I said, I feel that I was really good that day.  I mean, if you judge me on one single day, surely I was worthy of You and Your Kingdom that day, right!?”

His eyes began to well-up with tears as His face became noticeably downcast.  He could barely get the words out as he spoke; “Oh, my poor child.  Have you ignored what I’ve tried to teach you these past few years?  Have you attempted to replace My righteousness and My saving power with your own?  You have totally removed the power of the Cross from your life.  The day you most deserved My Kingdom was that night on your knees, in the midst of your darkest sins, in your most desperate, broken state.  The moment you felt most unworthy was when you were closest to Me.  You’ve spent most of your time reading about Me and learning about how to connect with Me, but very few times actually attempting to connect.  That moment, on your knees you finally realized that I was your only hope.  That very moment is when you were most worthy to spend forever with Me.”

I was cut to the heart; pierced at the very depths of my soul.  I knew He was right, and I knew that I deserved hell as much as any human being has ever deserved it.  I wept almost uncontrollably as I awaited His judgment.  “Mitch, you chose your good deeds and your righteousness on which to try to enter eternal life with Me.  Because of your pride and self-righteousness, you deserve hell and eternal separation from me.”  I fell to my knees and continued to weep.  I had been reduced to nothing.  “Yes Lord, I deserve Hell!  I am so sorry for not trusting you with all my heart!  Forgive me!”

I was certain that at any moment I would feel the pain of the unquenchable fires of hell.  But instead, I felt a soft and loving hand grab my own.  It was His hand!  “You have once again recognized your desperate need for me.  Never lose that desperation and you will spend forever and ever at my side!  I truly am your only hope.”

Just then, I was awakened by the sound of my alarm clock.  Out of breath and with a tear on my cheek, I realized it was a dream – Or was it?  It was the start of a new day, a clean slate, and a new beginning to the rest of my life.  And I wasn’t going to squander a single moment of it ever again!

~ Mitch Price 11/01/06